Tag Archives: parenting

Behind the curtain…..

Have you ever stumbled upon some information that you’d rather not known about, seen something that you would be better off not having seen, heard a conversation or pried into something that in retrospect you wish you had left unopened…
Alice_behind_the_curtainMotherhood seems to be fraught with these situations… All in the name of protecting your child, you seek to peek behind the curtain. To know what is really happening in their life. You hope to head off bad jujubes before they happen……
True faith, tells us, to trust, to be confident that all things work to the good of those who know HIM.
That, is a hard reality to grasp when you are a Mother. You feel like you, through your “Mommy Super Powers” can intervene, advise, protect…. when in reality, all the stress, the sleepless nights, the worrying are worth nothing…. They protect nothing….  They do not prevent accidents, or bad decisions or mistakes made…They do not provide a force field or silver bullet…

Free will prevails and some things  must take their course, consequences and all. We are not in control. But I am blessed to know the one who is…..

I will find my rest in God alone.
He is the One who gives me hope.
Psalm 62:5

Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ Isaiah 41:10

The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms” -Deuteronomy 33:27

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice….

February 1st, 1990, 4:02 am,  after 27 hours of labor, a  screaming, pink, redheaded baby girl came into the world. We named her Alyssa Brooke Adams and took her home on her brothers 2nd birthday.  A girl, a daughter, a little sister….

We went from one child to two and pretty much chaos ruled the day in the Adams Casa…..and we loved it. That beautiful hair, big green eyes,  and those Michelin Man thighs.
 Protected by her big brother, Tanner and adored by her parents, Alyssa grew into an entertainer. Always performing, (she and her brothers video taped shows are legend) or creating and always dramatic, there was never a dull moment.  Quirky, funny, adorable, a bit of a daredevil and a Ginger all rolled into one!
I can’t imagine life without my daughter,( although I feared having one.) I feared the battles, the conflict, the “I hate you moments”, the hormones, the boys, the competition…. 
But love conquers all things and these fears lasted only a moment, replaced by joy, love and pride. ( and a healthy dose of humble pie and patience)
My daughter is many things. She is smart, strong and beautiful. But she is also, hilarious, sensitive, compassionate and talented! She has a mature faith and a great sense of fun. She is NEVER LATE, is creative, determined and is someone her friends can count on.      I like her.

I adore laying on her bed listening to her latest news and sharing the trials and triumphs of her life. I would lay down my life for my daughter. So on this day, I celebrate her birth and her life. I thank God for every minute I have with her.
February 1st 2010, 4:02 am, I no longer am the mom of teenagers….
Happy Birthday Lyssie!

For Better or For Worse…

David the night I met him.

It was 1980.   I met him at a wedding rehearsal….I was running late…. I was wearing brown corduroy pants, a tan corduroy blazer and cowboy boots… He was the Best Man and I was the Maid of Honor.  He caught my eye… I caught his… We went out after the rehearsal and back to his apartment. He played The Innocent Age by Dan Fogleburg.  We talked……..both having recently left “relationships”.
So began, the friendship, courtship, engagement and eventually marriage between   David Allison Adams and Sandra Lynn McEver.
A deep thinker, a ladies man, an athelete, funny, an outdoors man, a music lover, romantic, indifferent, a bit wild,  he eventually proposed to me………

I accepted.

We  married January 11th, 1986 on a beautiful sunny winter day and began our marriage skiing in Lake Tahoe and spending a week in San Francisco. A year later built a house, a year after that had a beautiful baby boy,  followed two years later by a beautiful baby girl….

24 years have passed. TWENTY FOUR YEARS!! Years of blessings,  laughter, tears,  joys, trials, sadness, loss, good times, bad times, of little and of much.  Years of so many memories and adventures with this man. A man with deep faith and acknowledged flaws. A man who was the best father anyone could ask for.  A man who has not only tolerated all of my ideas, plans and projects but has never failed to support the same. A man who worked hard and provided so I could stay home with our children, and pitched in when back to work I went, who loved and respected my parents, who has been my partner.    A man who makes me laugh, who has held me when I cried. Such a good man, a man I respect.

Twenty four years. 8,760 days…Of breakfast, illness, hilarity, travels, sick kids, wild kids, funerals, weddings, grocery stores, automobile disasters, homeowner disasters, vacations, school events, traffic, arguments, surprises, challenges, meals and everything in between. All the little moments of life.

We are not rich and we are certainly not famous.You won’t read about us in the paper. We aren’t world travelers or corporate executives. We are two people who are fortunate to have made a commitment of “for better or for worse” and took it to heart.  We have a good life.  We are happy with simple things and time together. We have a beautiful family and wonderful friends.
                                                                                                                                                                                            Happy 24th AnniversaryAs we hiked today at our beloved Red Top Mountain, we talked about our 50th Anniversary….I liked that.
So to my Big Yahmo, Happy Anniversary, I Love You,  I would do it all again in a heartbeat. Thanks for choosing me….

Be Careful What You Wish For…


Remember a year ago, you know when I was WHINING about the EMPTY NEST and just HOW much I missed having everyone HOME….. Well, be careful what you wish for!

Alyssa has made the decision to transfer back home after a year and a half at Valdosta State University. WHAT?!! Yes, it was a faith based decision, a difficult, very painful decision but one she felt strongly about making. A good strong mature decision…
Of course, her room had been take over by the other post empty nest child, Tanner. So my dreams of an office-reading-artsy room were interrupted by the need for her a bedroom.
Once again we made the trek to Valdosta, this time packed a U-Haul truck and returned with another load of stuff to squeeze back into our garage.
Now, both children are living under our roof. Two adults, with minds of their own, dreams of their own and destinies of their own. A very different dynamic. An adjustment. A transition. But then isn’t that what life is all about Charlie Brown?

Holding Pattern

Have you ever been in an airplane and the pilot announces that you are “in a holding pattern”? You just circle around and around not really sure when you are going to land. Sometimes, you might even end up landing someplace different than where you had planned!


Photo by brianwallace
Attribution-NonCommercial License

That is what my nest feels like right now. I find myself not sure where I am going to land from day to day. Some days, I am not even sure where I have been! I feel like this is such a reflective period in my life. Coming from such a long time of frenzied child centered activity it is such an odd thing to be still. It is almost like I have to give myself permission to NOT do anything.
I guess this is my new normal…the holding pattern.

Seasons

I think Seasons are a wonderful thing. They keep us on our toes and when we think we can’t take another hot, cold, rainy (we wish) windy or gloomy day. The Season changes. I think our life is like that too. I look at the many seasons of my life and realize that I am a lot like the calendar seasons. I haven’t really changed colors and nothing has fallen off, but I have changed with the seasons of my life.
Right now, I am in a strange season. My children are yearning, fighting, screaming for their independence (separation?) from the family unit that I so lovingly and caringly crafted. Yet, I am still smack dab in the middle of all of the drama and consequences of loving them so.
Why can’t we separate? Why do we want to cling so tightly to those old moments, memories and emotions. I want to move forward but find myself looking back so often. I know this is a season but it is one with much disturbance and disarray.