Category Archives: Funny

26 Years and Still Getting Lost Together……

DSC_0029January 11th, marked 26 years of marriage for Big Yahmo and I. We celebrated the evening by going to Lowes and looking at a dishwasher and  a garbage disposal to replace the ones that conveniently exploded two days before Christmas.. (Of course, being married 26 years allows those kinds of things to just roll off your back.)

For the weekend, however, I had other plans. Our dear friends, Chris and Patti Leppo, graciously shared their sweet cabin located outside of Blue Ridge on Fighting Town Creek. So, Friday after work, we loaded up and headed to the hills. By sunset, we were sitting in front of the fire, eating tortilla soup, with a glass of wine, listening to the water roar below.

IMG_0232Morning came quickly and after some hot tea  and blueberry buckwheat pancakes , off we went. The plan was to head to Section 5 of the Benton MacKaye Trail. While the temperature was reading around 27, the sky was brilliant blue and cloudless as we neared the pull off. . .Now, this is where the story gets kind of interesting.

According to Tim Homan’s North Georgia Trail Guide, the trail began at an old logging road across from the gravel parking space. Now I have never hiked the Benton MacKaye and really didn’t  know how it was blazed, if it was blazed or anything about it.  Right at the logging road entrance we saw two girls with backpacks getting organized, so we took off ahead of them.

 IMG_0244The trail started as described with a reasonable climb and before long we had glimpses of the mountains beyond and the valley below. Little sparkles of water, assumed to be Lake Blue Ridge mentioned in the trail description were visible. After the first two miles, the trail became rather challenging. Many blow downs, several overgrown patches made us call laughingly call it the “Duck and Bob” trail. (we should have called it the Dumb and Dumber Trail, but more on that later…)

IMG_0235At the 2.5 mile point according to my trusty FitBit,we came to a hard switchback….. just as described in the book….(Due to the overgrown nature of the intersection, we left a couple of good sized sticks to point us home on the way back.) Have I mentioned that we are not known for our navigational skills?
We followed this along the ridge wall of the mountain crossing a dry creek bed a couple of times for another mile and suddenly there was nowhere else to go……. We should have been in full view of the fire tower but truly, there was nothing that even resembled a trail…

After scratching our heads, consulting our trail guide, taking a  break, making some tea and eating a bite weIMG_0246 decided to turn around and and call it a day. Seriously, I was wondering who, if anyone, maintained the Benton MacKaye Trail and how was anyone supposed to find their way around…So we made our way back, over and under and through the overgrown trail. Soon we caught sight of the road and as we walked around the gate over the logging road I looked to the right…..

OH, there is the trail!!!The starting blaze...

On a tree…..up the hill….to the right of the road… the woods…. was a small brown sign , as I looked up from the sign, I caught a glimpse of a post with a small familiar sign about 20 feet up the TRAIL. Yep, Section 5 of the Benton MacKaye………

We had just spent the last 8 the blazemiles hiking on what is most certainly NOT a trail and who knows where we were heading!!! In disbelief, we hiked up the trail a bit and then saw the prominent white diamond blazes on trees beyond.

Now I am pretty sure that this confession would qualify for being evicted from the Trail Dames, Southeast Women Backpackers and the O.G.G. ! However, this is a pretty typical adventure for David and I. We have a long colorful history of dirt roads, leaking tents, flooded trails and worm attacks. We have stumbled upon cult families in the woods, had equipment malfunctions and have experienced a few “Deliverance” type moments over the 30  plus years we have been exploring life AND the woods together.

But through it all we have persevered, found the humor and leaned on each other to weather each storm and trial. Getting lost on a logging road is not life threatening but could have ruined the weekend for some. After our hike, we retreated to the cabin, showered, gussied up and had a fabulous dinner at Harvest on Main in downtown Blue Ridge. (Thank you Teresa for being an outstanding server) We came back to the nice warm cozy cabin appreciative of the opportunity to spend time together.

Sunday morning, bright, cold and blue came and we headed back once again to the Benton MacKaye Section Five trailhead. IMG_0291Lake Blue RidgeIMG_0311
This time, we chose the right path and enjoyed a spectacular hike. The sky could not have been more blue,  a dusting of snow on mossy green logs, gorgeous sculptures of trees not visible during the summer months and the deep blue reflection of Lake Blue Ridge kept us company as we hiked.

Fabulous 360 degree views from the top of Tipton Mountain, a mysterious rusted bleacher surrounded field and Brawley’s Mountain  fire tower (in a scene straight out of Lost, complete with mysterious radio transmissions..) made the second attempt more than worth our efforts. It was a perfect winter day, filled with the quietness that comes with the season and we had it all to ourselves..
IMG_0338the trashman...
Satisfied that we had finally actually hiked Section Five of the Benton MacKaye , we turned and headed back to the car victorious. We ended our more than fabulous weekend with a stop at the famous Panorama Apple Market, where we picked up a bag of Pink Lady’s and went around the sample table a couple of times before heading back to reality…….…

Happy Twenty Sixth to us!


The Southern Snow Day

Snow is Coming...

It usually begins a week in advance…a picture on the weather channel showing snow in the forecast…Glenn Burns pointing to his maps and issuing pre-warning warnings, an implied weather front moving “rapidly” across the states. Then it begins. Visions of a SNOW DAY! The anticipation of such an event in the South is almost as much fun as actually having one…….almost. We do a lot of things to make it snow here in the South, we wear our pajamas inside-out. We put ice cubes in the toilet. We place white crayons in the freezer. Some even invoke the Almighty for the white stuff.
What is it about a snow day that is so special?     For one thing, we don’t get very many. Oh, we get teasers every year, the school districts agonize over decisions about putting buses on the road, canceling school, early release….adults  worry about juggling taking care of their children, how to get to work and curse the school district. Legendary amounts of milk and bread are purchased in the event of a total whiteout. (hope springs eternal!)  

There are the usual “Southerners don’t know how to drive in the snow” comments from those who migrated from places up North. (they are right about that but judging from what I see on CNN we don’t share the market on that claim, no offense) We watch the weather channel like the world was coming to an end.  

My Daddy and Brother with the SnowWoman

I think for us true Southerners, (meaning those of us who grew up here in the land of not much snow ) it is the memories. Because it was so infrequent, it stands out. I remember my mom putting plastic bags over our shoes and layering us up in clothes that soaked up snow like a sponge,  my daddy hurling us down the hill in a big ol silver dishpan, making snow men and my funny daddy and his friend making snow women that were anatomically correct wearing my moms apron. I remember the dryer running all day long as we went in and out trading our wet frozen clothes.
 Oh and the snow cream! Didn’t matter what the roads were like, my dad always got in his truck and went to get milk.  Snow Cream is a delicacy around these parts. (So much so that Mayfield got in on the act and came up with a Snow Cream flavor for their ice cream!)

I think the other best part of a snow day is the unexected “free” day that comes with it. It’s like you have an unexpected break, time with your children, time to read in your new snuggie or nap on your couch. Everything seems a little slower, a little more quiet and little bit prettier. So if you do happen to get that little treasure called a snow day, treasure it, store it up and by all means.

My Mom’s Snow Cream Recipe
12 ounces of evaporated milk (regular will do if you are in a pinch
2 whole beaten eggs (I know! Your not supposed to eat raw eggs, but it only snows once in a while!)
1 Tablespoon of Vanilla
1 Cup of sugar
1 gallon of Fresh New Snow (avoid the yellow stuff and try not to scrape it off your deck)
Preparation: Mix it all together and EAT IT!  

Boot Blow Out

It had to happen sooner or later….All the cookies, the fudge, the dips and the cinnamon rolls. Slowly but surely my pants got tighter, (and shorter) my bra became increasingly like a vice around my chest, (not in the cup area) and my face became a little more rounded. Creeping in such a subtle fashion the pounds they came.
The peak of the creepage occurred while getting ready for work as I struggled to zip up my very favorite, very beloved, very chic boots. As I tried to cram the flesh of my calf into the boot and inch the zipper up, it occurred to me that boots don’t shrink.
I continued to zip millimeter by millimeter by millimeter until the deed was done. Of course I now had an outpouring of skin pouring over the top of my boots. (not chic) As I made my way down the stairs, I heard it before I saw it, pooooffff!! I looked down and saw that my zipper was still zipped at the top but now my calf was bulging out from the center of the boot. As I struggled to get the zipper down, it occurred to me that I might have to CUT them off. Was their a jaws of life for boots?
At last I freed my calf but couldnt leave well enough alone. Maybe it was a fluke, a simple malfunction. Surely I could not have outgrown my precious boots! So, once again, I squeezed myself into my boot and once again took a step and had another boot blowout. Now, convinced, I changed my clothing option for that day and made a note to buy stretchier boots next time.
I guess the moral of this story is this. When overindulging over the holidays, never underestimate the full effect it will have on your wardrobe.

sexy boots

Boots Pre-Blow Out

The Joy of the Tervis Tumbler!

Such a simple little thing. A gift. The Tervis Tumbler….with my initial on it….Smiles for me. Given by my precious friends, Kim, Amy and Denise, Beloved. Thanks girls. Keeps hot things hot, cold things cold and does not sweat. Love it. It is the simple things……