Boot Blow Out

It had to happen sooner or later….All the cookies, the fudge, the dips and the cinnamon rolls. Slowly but surely my pants got tighter, (and shorter) my bra became increasingly like a vice around my chest, (not in the cup area) and my face became a little more rounded. Creeping in such a subtle fashion the pounds they came.
The peak of the creepage occurred while getting ready for work as I struggled to zip up my very favorite, very beloved, very chic boots. As I tried to cram the flesh of my calf into the boot and inch the zipper up, it occurred to me that boots don’t shrink.
I continued to zip millimeter by millimeter by millimeter until the deed was done. Of course I now had an outpouring of skin pouring over the top of my boots. (not chic) As I made my way down the stairs, I heard it before I saw it, pooooffff!! I looked down and saw that my zipper was still zipped at the top but now my calf was bulging out from the center of the boot. As I struggled to get the zipper down, it occurred to me that I might have to CUT them off. Was their a jaws of life for boots?
At last I freed my calf but couldnt leave well enough alone. Maybe it was a fluke, a simple malfunction. Surely I could not have outgrown my precious boots! So, once again, I squeezed myself into my boot and once again took a step and had another boot blowout. Now, convinced, I changed my clothing option for that day and made a note to buy stretchier boots next time.
I guess the moral of this story is this. When overindulging over the holidays, never underestimate the full effect it will have on your wardrobe.

sexy boots

Boots Pre-Blow Out


One response to “Boot Blow Out

  1. LOL….boot blow out! I have genetically large calves so I have never even been able to wear them. I long to strut my “stuff” in some go go boots and sing Nancy Sinatra’s, “These boots are made for walking..” just ain’t gonna happen. Big sigh! From now on you will have to ignore your booty’s call. hahaha

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